• For users coming over from tmlfans.ca your username will remain the same but you will need to use the password reset feature (check your spam folder) on the login page in order to set your password. If you encounter issues, email Rick couchmanrick@gmail.com

Depression and Anxiety

Good for you Rick. A few months ago I went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years. I was pretty anxious too (normal anxiety though.) I had just one minor cavity; I was in and out in no time.

From that though I ended up booking an appointment for a bite splint. I have bruxism (grinding of the teeth) and he said I was wearing down my teeth. It's basically from stress.
 
Rick said:
Went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years yesterday.  I was shaking like a leaf.  Major phobia...  Ended up with a pain-free cleaning and I only have a few cavities.  I beat that anxiety!

Next up is this weekend - Friday to Sunday in Montreal for the Habs-Leafs tilt.  Taking my son Jake (16) and Rob DM and Darryl.  I'm sweating thinking about the anxiety, yet really looking forward to it...

One thing at a time, awesome! Enjoy the game also.
 
Stebro said:
Been looking a lot for songs about depression or that reminds me of depression. The best one I've heard so far is Unwell by Matchbox 20. Springsteen also has a song that you can listen to on youtube called "This depression". I'm not sure what else there is out there.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHHoJOK5RzM[/youtube]
 
Hey everyone,

I usually don't read this section of the site but I stumbled onto this thread a couple of weeks ago and have been slowly reading through it.  I don't have any easy answers (no one does, obviously), but I want to wish everyone the best in their struggles.  Without denigrating anyone else, I would like to send special best wishes to you, Rick, since your work has provided so many people so much enjoyment over the years.  That is a rare gift and I hope you are proud of it.

I do have a suggestion that hasn't really been talked about here.

Many mental health professionals promote the therapeutic value of spending unstructured time in natural areas.  I take it that most of you live in cities.  What tends to happen to urban folks is that they get wrapped up in people problems and become detached from the context, the background, in which we humans evolved.

Without getting into the large technical and philosophical literature that justifies this, I can just tell you that there is something incredibly soothing in talking a walk in a quiet woods, or by a lake, or anyplace where you can be in nature.  You "go outside yourself" for a time; you de-focus away from your problems and absorb the sights, smells, and sounds (and this is key: if you can go somewhere where you can only hear natural sounds, and listen carefully, after a few minutes you will find, I'm almost certain, a calming effect on your being).

If you can make a habit of doing this regularly -- every day is best -- I think you will soon develop the beginnings of an awareness that we are part of something bigger, something we didn't create and aren't in charge of, that we are at home on earth, and that being here is good.  And then hopefully you can begin transferring some of that positive feeling to your own self-esteem, or your personal relationships.

Just to give you an example: I live way off in the woods in a remote part of my state (but only 7 miles from a small university town, where I work).  Right now 5 wild turkeys have shown up at our bird feeder and I am looking at one right now standing on the snow.  It just looked at me.  We're here together, at this moment.  What does that mean?  Well, there are many meanings each of us could bring individually to this moment.  But it makes me happy to know that this beautiful creature is part of my consciousness right know.  It makes me want to flourish, and it makes me want nature to always be available.

Of course I can't guarantee results of nature therapy.  But I, and many others, find it to be a portal to wellness, and a way to heal the psychological dislocations that are at the heart of anxiety.

It's worth a try!

PS: I meant to add that you don't have to travel far to do this.  There are plenty of urban parks and other natural areas where you can get the essence of what I'm talking about.
 
Wonderful thought ZBBM. it makes a lot of sense. Being in a smaller city surrounded by wilderness (and nature preserves in the city) I should really start taking advantage of this.

I'm going to go out somewhere this afternoon!
 
Bullfrog said:
Wonderful thought ZBBM. it makes a lot of sense. Being in a smaller city surrounded by wilderness (and nature preserves in the city) I should really start taking advantage of this.

I'm going to go out somewhere this afternoon!

Great Bullfrog -- go out there, breathe deep, let your mind wander over what you see.  Enjoy.
 
Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate said:
...best wishes to you, Rick, since your work has provided so many people so much enjoyment over the years.  That is a rare gift and I hope you are proud of it...

Thanks for the kind words.  There's quite a few people here to put in hard work to call this home.

The suggestions are bang on the money.  Exercise in the outdoors is a great help for depression.  It's something I need to start doing more of...

Cheers, Rick
 
ZBBM, I am glad that the nature connection works for you. I am the exact opposite - my energy and inspiration comes from the city.

I have attended retreats in rural settings and found myself going crazy, leaving for the nearest cafe with internet!

That being said, the ocean is my ultimate (non-family) joy. My times in, on,  or near the sea have been the happiest of my life. Memories of looking into the eyes of humpback whales, being surrounded by thousands of dolphins, and seeing sharks serenely swim past always bring beams of light even into the darkest depression.

Since I don't live near the ocean, second best is getting out to my favourite cafes every day. It provides some structure and gets me out.
 
Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate said:
Hey everyone,

I usually don't read this section of the site but I stumbled onto this thread a couple of weeks ago and have been slowly reading through it.  I don't have any easy answers (no one does, obviously), but I want to wish everyone the best in their struggles.  Without denigrating anyone else, I would like to send special best wishes to you, Rick, since your work has provided so many people so much enjoyment over the years.  That is a rare gift and I hope you are proud of it.

I do have a suggestion that hasn't really been talked about here.

Many mental health professionals promote the therapeutic value of spending unstructured time in natural areas.  I take it that most of you live in cities.  What tends to happen to urban folks is that they get wrapped up in people problems and become detached from the context, the background, in which we humans evolved.

Without getting into the large technical and philosophical literature that justifies this, I can just tell you that there is something incredibly soothing in talking a walk in a quiet woods, or by a lake, or anyplace where you can be in nature.  You "go outside yourself" for a time; you de-focus away from your problems and absorb the sights, smells, and sounds (and this is key: if you can go somewhere where you can only hear natural sounds, and listen carefully, after a few minutes you will find, I'm almost certain, a calming effect on your being).

If you can make a habit of doing this regularly -- every day is best -- I think you will soon develop the beginnings of an awareness that we are part of something bigger, something we didn't create and aren't in charge of, that we are at home on earth, and that being here is good.  And then hopefully you can begin transferring some of that positive feeling to your own self-esteem, or your personal relationships.

Just to give you an example: I live way off in the woods in a remote part of my state (but only 7 miles from a small university town, where I work).  Right now 5 wild turkeys have shown up at our bird feeder and I am looking at one right now standing on the snow.  It just looked at me.  We're here together, at this moment.  What does that mean?  Well, there are many meanings each of us could bring individually to this moment.  But it makes me happy to know that this beautiful creature is part of my consciousness right know.  It makes me want to flourish, and it makes me want nature to always be available.

Of course I can't guarantee results of nature therapy.  But I, and many others, find it to be a portal to wellness, and a way to heal the psychological dislocations that are at the heart of anxiety.

It's worth a try!

PS: I meant to add that you don't have to travel far to do this.  There are plenty of urban parks and other natural areas where you can get the essence of what I'm talking about.
That's a good suggestion. I actually used to do that when I was a kid, dunno why I stopped. I used to sit on a cliff and watch the local lake, and when it was still I used to dream away while watching it. And I could sit there for a very long time, and no people around. Only nature. And you can smell the nature, and you don't hear people yelling. You don't hear cars or cellphones. It's just you and the nature. And when things are at best and you just dream away, you hear some damn airplane nearby who ruins it all :D
 
I love a good mix of city and country.  I live in the country but travel often enough to cities that I get my fix.

Nature can be liberating.
 
They say from January with all the bills to pay because of the holidays and then into February, which overall is a depressing month, it is a very tough part of the year for alot of people. I absolutely agree with going out into the woods or somewhere where its you and Mother Nature, just to reflect, to relax, to not think of any worries in the world.

I agree with Monika about the ocean, It is such a powerful force that can do more then just sway boats. I can't describe it, but, I too would like to get back to seeing it soon. I always wondered if I should be living in a city or town close to the drink. We are so connected with all this technology, maybe we just need to step outside and take in what is there for us all to see and sense.

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...wax on wax off... :)
 
BMan said:
They say from January with all the bills to pay because of the holidays and then into February,...

Slightly off topic, but this is why I don't understand why people put so much pressure on themselves at Christmas and spend so much money. We spent $300 this year, and that includes each other, our boy, and out family members.
 
Bullfrog said:
BMan said:
They say from January with all the bills to pay because of the holidays and then into February,...

Slightly off topic, but this is why I don't understand why people put so much pressure on themselves at Christmas and spend so much money. We spent $300 this year, and that includes each other, our boy, and out family members.

Those people might have teenagers that want XBox, Nintendo, Playstation, iPods, iPhones, new computers etc etc...None of which is cheap. Heck, even buying a single game for one of those systems is like, 50 or more dollars. Hard to keep to a budget that way. Even buying a kid a cellphone is expensive ;-\
 
LittleHockeyFan said:
Bullfrog said:
BMan said:
They say from January with all the bills to pay because of the holidays and then into February,...

Slightly off topic, but this is why I don't understand why people put so much pressure on themselves at Christmas and spend so much money. We spent $300 this year, and that includes each other, our boy, and out family members.

Those people might have teenagers that want XBox, Nintendo, Playstation, iPods, iPhones, new computers etc etc...None of which is cheap. Heck, even buying a single game for one of those systems is like, 50 or more dollars. Hard to keep to a budget that way. Even buying a kid a cellphone is expensive ;-\

I have boycotted Christmas the past 7 or so years. I won't accept or give presents. It's awesome! I take care of my friends and family on their birthdays.
 
Well, my girlfriend made it official two days ago. We were trying to work it out, and I thought it was coming along, but she about faced completely. After I gave her my word that I'd be here for the long haul (marriage and kids) she said she didn't want to settle down anymore and didn't want to live in apartments scraping for money.

To be honest, I think half of her view of me is colored by the fact that she lucked out and has a better job than myself and has more disposable income than myself. So she wants to go on trips and I want to save my money for now. One or two trips a year isn't enough for her. She wants to four trips or more a year.

Which actually is even more depressing: She's changed completely from when I knew her, continues to flip flop and doesn't know what she wants, but to be honest I think she wants a guy with money or wants to be single and party and go on trips (I've already been single and partied so I'm not interested in that).

I've never been more burned in my life.
 
TheMightyOdin said:
LittleHockeyFan said:
Bullfrog said:
BMan said:
They say from January with all the bills to pay because of the holidays and then into February,...

Slightly off topic, but this is why I don't understand why people put so much pressure on themselves at Christmas and spend so much money. We spent $300 this year, and that includes each other, our boy, and out family members.

Those people might have teenagers that want XBox, Nintendo, Playstation, iPods, iPhones, new computers etc etc...None of which is cheap. Heck, even buying a single game for one of those systems is like, 50 or more dollars. Hard to keep to a budget that way. Even buying a kid a cellphone is expensive ;-\

I have boycotted Christmas the past 7 or so years. I won't accept or give presents. It's awesome! I take care of my friends and family on their birthdays.

It depresses me thinking of my 2 year old son wanting these things.  I already love me and my wife being ripped off by Rogers, can't wait to hear about their family plans!
 
I feel like a bit of a wreck right now. I'm nauseous all the time, still digesting the death of a 3.5 year relationship. I'm having a hard time eating and I've already lost almost 3-5lbs in 4 days.

I really don't know how to handle this, what should I do? At times I think I'm all pulled together and times I just feel like leaving work and walk around aimlessly.
 
I left work for a two hour lunch today, spent money on clothes, had a large steak and a few glasses of wine.

Certainly blew away the morning blues that I had.

It's important to treat yourself well. :)
 
:-( I wish I could say something helpful Bender. Something other than 'hang in there'. It'll get better, I promise. Just know we care, and are here to hear you out.

hugs, LHF
 
Yea Bender, Much better to end it now than 5-7 years down the road with kids involved and the divorce thing to deal with. Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better right now, but I tell you one thing, "time is the greatest healer of all".
Hang in there, things will get better, believe me!
 

About Us

This website is NOT associated with the Toronto Maple Leafs or the NHL.


It is operated by Rick Couchman and Jeff Lewis.
Back
Top