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Depression and Anxiety

So, as part of my therapy, I've started a hobby: drawing. I haven't touched pencils (other than technical drawing) in 20+ years. Here's my first drawing, a hand study:

5qqVx6j.jpg


And my second, an eye study (2nd pair is in progress):
cuH1xie.jpg


I haven't felt a passion for something in a long, long time. It feels good. I'm hoping to try out some portraits in the next few weeks.
 
Bullfrog said:
So, as part of my therapy, I've started a hobby: drawing. I haven't touched pencils (other than technical drawing) in 20+ years. Here's my first drawing, a hand study:

5qqVx6j.jpg


And my second, an eye study (2nd pair is in progress):
cuH1xie.jpg


I haven't felt a passion for something in a long, long time. It feels good. I'm hoping to try out some portraits in the next few weeks.
Click to expand...
That's really good mate, I think you should continue to invest time in that. Creativity is very important, because it shows something individual and human. I turned to songwrititing which helped me a lot🙂
 
Bullfrog said:
So, as part of my therapy, I've started a hobby: drawing. I haven't touched pencils (other than technical drawing) in 20+ years. Here's my first drawing, a hand study:

5qqVx6j.jpg


And my second, an eye study (2nd pair is in progress):
cuH1xie.jpg


I haven't felt a passion for something in a long, long time. It feels good. I'm hoping to try out some portraits in the next few weeks.
Click to expand...
Very cool and well done.
 
Dude those are some Sistine Chapel-level hands you've done there.

I'm going to offer you some cut rate philosophy. I hope that people who are struggling with depression understand that it's within everyone's power, no matter what their abilities, to add a bit of good to set in the balance against all the hate and evil in the world. For people like you, gifted with talent -- all you have to do is share it. You are making the world a better place with your art. I hope that knowledge lifts you up next time you feel down. Thanks for making life on this crazy planet a bit more valuable. Keep er goin'.
 
thanks for the kind words. ZBBM, thanks for saying that. I was actually worried that people would think I was showing off. I'm just sharing because I'm proud of what I created (regardless if it's actually good or not) and I've found an outlet that lifts my spirit. I'm almost certain I have ADD as well, so drawing a hand or eye for two hours takes advantage of my hyper-focus trait.
 
Crake said:
Bender said:
Highlander said:
Been back to suffering from some strong anxiety.  Then a friend told me about "Calm" an app that I downloaded through my phone. I did my first session with the program yesterday and found it was a very big help.  They give you a week for free then it costs 76 a year.
Worth a try for those of you looking for some non drug relief.
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I've been vaping weed a lot more regularly lately myself. I think I just went through a long bout with anxiety lately. I wasn't able to sleep, my body felt wired all the time like I could hop out of bed and be alert immediately, increased and heavier heart rate and after 2 or 3 days of this I'd go home and nap for a few hours and then not be able to fall asleep again. I tried melatonin (huge waste) and sleep-eze (not bad although my anxiousness was still there so my body over-rided it at times). I thought for a while something was physically wrong with me but I did a bunch of tests and the doc thinks I'm in good physical health.

I'm finding vaping a higher CBD weed is really calming me down and I've been pretty good almost every night afterward. I do want to try this though because I don't want to be reliant on vaping most nights just to get a good night's sleep.
Click to expand...

I went through a really difficult period in my life a few years ago (I don't post much here but I even vented in one thread a bit at one point) and nothing helped me get through it better than meditation did. Weed is helpful too, especially a high CBD strain, but it was more of a short term crutch for me and not a long term solution. I still use it occasionally whenever my stress and anxiety levels start climbing again, but it's meditation that helps fix the cause while weed only helps with the symptoms created by the root problem.

I used the Calm app for awhile but I've switched to one called Let's Meditate now because it allows me to download my favourite sessions instead of always streaming them. Meditating was a very difficult skill to learn at first as my brain and body actually seemed to fight against it since they were so used to the high strung "normal" that had been my life, but anything that teaches you to slow the mind down is worth the effort, whether that's meditation or yoga or Tai Chi or whatever works for you
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I agree our brains need to unwind and it's probably best to do that without the effect of a drug of some sort, but vaping a higher CBD strain for the last little while has really has helped. Before trying it I would try to fall asleep and my mind would be racing, and over time that went from not being able to sleep due to a racing mind to worrying about being able to fall asleep in the first place, which led to a worse and worse cycle of anxiety. Would I be rested enough to work effectively without screwing things up? Maybe there's something wrong with me more than anxiety or insomnia? I started vaping and I was able to basically start believing that I could fall asleep normally again so my anxiety dissipated after I stopped associating my bed with not being able to sleep. I've weaned off the CBD lately and I've been mostly pretty good, I think it can be very useful, but it definitely shouldn't be the only tool anyone is using. I for sure have to look into meditation. I'll for sure have to train myself because I'm the kind of person that needs my mind focusing on something.
 
Life is weird, I've been unemployed by choice for about 8 months to travel etc. Then I reached out to my former boss, signed a new contract with a salary raise. Then big companies from North America like Bombardier etc reached out to me to discuss potential work. I know that a lot of people are struggling with work right now, but for some reason I just got more depressed, and then I feel guilty because I don't feel as if I have any reason or right to feel depressed when I'm in a good position, and I've also been offered a great appartment with a great rent. So I have all these positives during a short time, yet I feel more depressed than before. That doesn't make any sense to me and makes me feel guilty, arrogant etc. So basically I feel depressed, but don't feel that I have earned the right to feel depressed. I just feel that I should drink champagne, be happy about life, but instead I just sleep, stare into the wall, wondering why I'm not happy.
 
Hey Stebro,
Remember one thing always, never feel bad about the things you are feeling, accept them with non judgement.  I learned this from using the Calm app and learning to meditate. It's ok to feel bad, it's Ok to be depressed. Just don't judge it.  When you stop the judgement then often the depression and bad feelings will lift off you like a cloud that passes in the night.

What you say is so true, I lost my income and job that I have been doing the last 20 years. Not permanently, it will probably start up next year again hopefully, but have now lost 2 years of income in my last 4 earning years.  Hard to navigate.  But and this is the real strange thing, is that a side project that I have been working on for the last 3 years without much success, has finally found two big opportunities for earning more than my other job provided. 

If there is any more comfort in this, is that many of us feel exactly what you feel Stebro.  So don't feel bad about feeling bad. 
 
We're here for you man.

Its hard to really dispense any advice or anything like that during a time like this but anything that nudges you along a more positive path is important I think. Don't feel bad for feeling bad though. That's all I can say really. I'm sure you've talked to people far more qualified than me.
 
So, some good news for a change. I've been on antidepressants since mid-Dec. After the first 8 weeks or so of getting adjusted, I haven't had a single day of depression. Not one. My last depression symptoms was probably end of February? The Drs want to keep me on the ADs for at least a year just to reduce the chances of a relapse; but so far so good.

 
Bullfrog said:
So, some good news for a change. I've been on antidepressants since mid-Dec. After the first 8 weeks or so of getting adjusted, I haven't had a single day of depression. Not one. My last depression symptoms was probably end of February? The Drs want to keep me on the ADs for at least a year just to reduce the chances of a relapse; but so far so good.
Click to expand...

Yeah, this is a big one.  You feel great (that's awesome).  Sometimes the withdrawal effect on the neurotransmitters from coming off the antidepressant can set you back a bit so staying on longer is definitely beneficial. 

From personal experience I might suggest waiting until the spring/summer depending on how you are feeling.  The wonderful winter weather sometimes can suck your mood back down.
 
Really good to hear man but I concur with the Doctors. Now is not the time to be facing the world as is.
 
I'm moving out of my appartment in a couple of weeks, and there's so much to do. At the moment we have limited resources at work, and I basically work between 6 am and 7 pm, and after work I basically fall flat on my face into bed as I have no energy, and I struggle just to do anything, and it gives me so much anxiety, and people around me don't seem to understand. I also have no one to help me, any ideas on how I can motivate myself? I know that I can do it, I just completely lack energy.
 
Stebro for what it is worth I use the Calm App, it is amazing, instead of reaching for a valium, when I need to I put on my headphones and do a meditation on Calm. Part of the app is a 30 day voice guided course on how to meditate (do nothing) and it is great.  It has helped me immensely. My son suffers from anxiety and I am trying to get him to try it.  He is reluctant but young, so you can't press it to hard.

For intelligent people like you Stebro it is worth a try.  It certainly will not hurt as you have to take some time for you, every day.
 
Highlander said:
Stebro for what it is worth I use the Calm App, it is amazing, instead of reaching for a valium, when I need to I put on my headphones and do a meditation on Calm. Part of the app is a 30 day voice guided course on how to meditate (do nothing) and it is great.  It has helped me immensely. My son suffers from anxiety and I am trying to get him to try it.  He is reluctant but young, so you can't press it to hard.

For intelligent people like you Stebro it is worth a try.  It certainly will not hurt as you have to take some time for you, every day.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the tip mate I will look it up  :)
 
Hey Stebro, why are you now listed as a guest. I really liked your tag line on you posts, and wanted to read it again. Are you with us here?
 
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