Sometimes, it has to do with the content of the reporting, or personal friction. There are feuds that kick off over nothing in a locker room and are resolved in print over decades. But it?s more fundamental than that.
There are players I?ve covered for years, talked to many times about all sorts of things. I think I know them, at least a little.
Then one day, we?ll walk past each other in the street, our eyes meet and they don?t recognize me. Not at all.
As media, we are locker-room background ? as animate as grease boards and laundry hampers. You can?t remember what you haven?t really seen in the first place.
Then you?ll run into the same guy in a Starbucks lineup on the road and end up talking to each other about nothing. Maybe he?ll see you embracing an old coach of his. Or he?ll wander into an actual human conversation you?re having with the GM about families or movies or a mutual acquaintance.
All of a sudden, and in that instant, you become a real person. And that player never forgets you, sometimes even years later. It?s bizarre, and it happens all the time in this business.
Once that?s happened, you?ll never rip that guy in print. You?ll criticize, but the ripping days are over. He?s not just someone you cover any more. He?s someone you know.
This has very little to do with the job. It?s human nature.
Once you?ve seen and been seen, you?ve crossed a bridge together. Empathy?s part of it now. It may not affect the content of your work, but it certainly has an impact on the tone. From then on, disagreements are squashed one-on-one. You?re not friends, but you show each other a rough sort of respect.
Some players don?t get that basic calculus, which is fine. They?re free to behave as they?d like. They have a right to expect that things never get personal ? though ?personal? means different things to different people.
Beyond that, they have no rights. What they have is the environment they?ve created for themselves.
The question only a few take the time to ask themselves is ?What do I want?? If you would like to see the best part of yourself reflected in the way people report on you, then you show it. If you don?t care, then don?t bother.